An English Professor wrote the words “A woman without her man is nothing” on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.

All the males in the class wrote: “A woman, without her man, is nothing”
All the females in the class wrote: “A woman, without her, man is nothing”.

ABRAHAM LINCOLN  was a very successful practising attorney. Once someone asked him to take up a case. After hearing the details Linoln said, ” I understand your case. It’s technically strong but ethically weak. I cann’t accept it. Because while I am arguing it, at the back of my mind all the time, I’ll keep saying to myself,

” LINCOLN, You’re a liar.

  LINCOLN, You’re a liar.”

I will not be able to live with myself.”

His message is clear:

“ I sell my professional time, but not my conscience.“

 Professor’s wife:Don’t you think I have put too much salt in the soup,dear?

 Professor:Not at all darling, perhaps there is not enough soup for the salt.

 

Health Inspector: I never saw the park littered with so much paper as it was this morning.How do you account for it?

Watchman: Someone distributed leaflets in which he asked people  not to throw paper about.

 

The Speaker annoyed by constant interruptions , finally blurted out: wouldn’t it be better to hear one fool at a time?

You’re right, called a voice from the audience, Go, on.

 

She was a Radio Announcer. After praying for quite a long time before getting into bed one night, she added, And here again, dear God, are the Headlines.’

 

A Professor & a farmer were travelling together. The professor suggested asking riddles to pass the time.

 Every time you fail,you give me a rupee, & every time I fail, I’ll give you a rupee, he said.

You’re  better educated than I am, replied. I’ll give you 50 paise.

The professor agreed, & the farmer asked, What has 3 legs walking & 2 legs flying?

The professor gave up & handed over a rupee. The farmer said he did not know either & coolly handed back 50 paise.